Who Knows Where The Time Goes?

(Spoiler warning, in case you haven’t made it to the end of Sandy Denny’s haunting late-sixties ballad, but she doesn’t know.)

Today, of course, it’s more a question of ‘where does the time come from?’ given that we’ve ‘gained’ an hour overnight. I used to work with somebody, and have encountered several people since, who always dreaded the changing of the clocks because it took him weeks to adjust. I know that it’s ‘a thing’ but I have to admit it’s one I still don’t understand. (I always limit myself to 700 words, so there’s no room to list here all the things I don’t understand – but gears, electric sewing machines, and the plot to Harry Sullivan’s War by Ian Marter all figure on the list.)

Maybe it’s that I’m not sufficiently in tune with the natural world, the rhythms of the sun and moon, the pattern of day and night, and I’m stupid enough to just accept whatever time the clock tells me it is. Actually that’s very possible, given that as a child of the 70s & 80s I’m of the generation that, as Douglas Adams put it, “still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.”

Regardless of how easy or not it is to slip from BST to GMT, I like turning the clocks back. Certainly as a child, I always associated it with the start of the big push towards Christmas. Dark almost as soon as I got home from school, and cold too, the perfect excuse to snuggle down by the fire and watch more TV than I should.

Not, in the interests of full disclosure, that I ever need much of an excuse to watch TV. Recently I’ve been rewatching Michael Palin’s Around The World in 80 Days, and have just done episode six in which, never mind repeating an hour, he crosses the international date line and repeats a whole day!

Aboard ship Michael and a handful of newbie crewmembers are involved in a ritual to mark their first time crossing the line. (The official term may be ‘Date Line Virgins’ but I’m reluctant to Google that.) His voiceover observes, as he is being liberally plastered with some red substance, that the ceremony normally uses red paint but as a concession to him they’ve substituted ketchup. Personally I’d have preferred the paint.

Around The World… was first shown in 1989, having been recorded in late 1988 – and as well as remembering much of the programme from first time around, I also by and large remember 1988. So when the captions come up saying, for example, Day 18 October 12th, and Michael is setting off from Dubai part of me is thinking, he’s missing part 2 of Remembrance of the Daleks. I’ve just passed day 48 and discovered that Michael was exploring Shanghai at the same time as my brother turned 20.

If we’re talking about the weird tricks time plays I’m sure I’m not the only person to have observed that March this year seemed to last for about 30 weeks. My Mum pointed out yesterday, that when Boris made his speech (his, to paraphrase, “go home and stay there” speech) it was the Monday after we’d put the clocks forward. At the time, we probably weren’t that bothered about having one less hour to put up with.

Nevertheless since then, as usual, the months seem to have raced by and now we’re almost out the other end of October. Absurdly, in July and August it felt like we were having a summer break from the Coronavirus, but now that Autumn has taken hold, we’re back in the thick of it. People comparing it to ‘the war’ have become very tiresome… but clearly it WON’T all be over by Christmas.

Anybody who’s already rearranged events for 2021 may be starting to wonder if they’ve been a bit premature in doing so. Sadly it’s all dragged on, probably longer than expected, certainly longer than hoped. No doubt we will get ‘there’ eventually, albeit some things may never be quite the same again. But also, no doubt it’s going to take…

…time.

And On The Third Day…

(Or seventy-two hours later, if that’s a different thing.)

Either way, I refer of course to none other than our good friend Mr Trump who returned to the White House on Monday, marching onto the balcony to remove his mask and declare himself restored. Looking at the footage I found it hard not to think he was trying to channel the resurrection and suggest he had risen again.

I made the same ‘gag’ on Facebook on Tuesday but a week is a long time in politics, so by the time I came to put a few thoughts together on Thursday the man himself had already overtaken me. (I would say I’ve been ‘out-Trumped’ but that sounds unfortunately like some kind of farting competition.) He’s now declared that his catching the virus was “a gift from God” in that it enabled him to discover this great cure, and be restored to better health than ever. (On first hearing that I must admit I felt a bit sorry for God, getting dragged into it all.)

Over the weekend, while Trump was still in hospital (or still sealed in the tomb waiting for the stone to move if you prefer (or to be moved, if you want to start getting all theological)) there was one school of opinion on Twitter, that having the virus might make him a more humble figure. Frankly, that’s the sort of optimism that gives optimists a bad name.

Sure enough, not only is he back to downplaying the virus, he also seems to be presenting himself as the expert on it, now that he’s had it. To be fair to Mr Trump, he’s not the first person I’ve come across who, having done something once, considered themselves the leading authority on it. I once heard the phrase “he’s seen one brick, now he thinks he can build a wall” used to describe this sort of personality, although I daren’t mention walls in case the risen Trump starts on that tomorrow, figuring it won’t take him more than a week to finish now that he’s the sort of person who rests on the seventh day.

With any other leader (except maybe the Pope) declaring something as a gift from God would probably affect their standing, but with Trump I can’t see it making any difference at all to the imminent election. It seems pretty clear that the people who don’t like him, still won’t like him; and the people who do like him, will be happy to think they’ve backed what is bound to be the winning side now that God has given his endorsement.

From this side of the Atlantic at least, the US election still seems very much up for grabs. Despite what we probably all expected when he won four years ago, Trump hasn’t done anything to turn his popular support against him. Oh, he’s done plenty to reinforce the views of the people who didn’t vote for him, but there’s no suggestion of a huge swing against him among those who did.

Alas, on the other side Joe Biden doesn’t seem to be doing anything to turn people towards him. I appreciate that as an ‘elder statesman’ it’s expecting too much to hope he’d have an electric air about him, bringing excitement and freshness to the table, oozing a vigour and passion that will light the torch for a new generation. But the entire campaign seems to be just, I’m not Trump – which was surely the exact same campaign the Democrats expected to bring them victory in 2016?

Frankly I don’t envy America either way. In the eleven weeks between election and inauguration, I anticipate riots and protests from the extreme arms of the losing party. And there’ll be either fierce and ugly accusations, even legal wranglings, from an ousted President determined to do anything other than ensure the usual smooth, dignified transition of power; or there’ll be the chilling, gloomy prospect of another four years of Trump.

The election is just over three weeks away, so they’ll soon know which it is.

God help them.